months

maybe it was the sound of you that
i used to miss
earlier when i was walking in the
panicked nightwalk later before
what was early to rattle me just
the nonchalance of your silence

i am waiting very patiently and appropriately sullen i
curve steps that fake boldness at our doorways and
other things which
jointly owned
claim our elements

this stops being nostalgic
becomes the affected gait of
smells that mix into the furniture
books weave into each other like
spidered legs encounter the breath that shared
becomes less than the
breath that's
there

where i sit

dangling

feet held hover above the ground

and nothing
gathers here

we are a grand emptiness
the background music cheery and resonantly
echoes beyond the patina of dusty
memories where we painted this

all you did
agrees
i shake hands with it
and

all i did
drifts aimlessly

she finds it carefully
pushes aside petals like a surgeon

further days cough when they
inhale this powder

summer is a firearm

i play with it carelessly worn

your clothing muttering like a bomb

take it away to
where your will withdraws

it's ok
smelling like a headfucked vice

it's not here at all

it's where you were